My Breast Cancer 3 Day journey

2010 will mark my 3rd Breast Cancer 3 Day walk.

At the end of 2007 I had seen the walkers close to my house and I thought to myself, "I should do that one year".
Little did I know that "one year" was going to come so soon.

In May of 2008, I found out that one of my co-workers had been diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer and was going to be undergoing a double mastectomy. I was dumbfounded.
This strong, beautiful and amazing woman was only 28! Plus she had absolutely NO family history. She was not supposed to get breast cancer. Yet she did.

I wanted someway to show support for her. At first I cut off my hair and donated it to Locks of Love in her honor. But I felt I needed to do something more.

So I registered for my first 3 Day. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
I was very fortunate that first year, as I had one donar give me all the funds I needed to walk.
I also found a team online and joined them. Team Walking On...it was one of the best things I ever did!
So I walked that first year having only done 1 training walk. BIG MISTAKE! LOL
The first day I met a group of girls, we were all pretty slow walkers so we walked together and shared stories and talked about our lives and we laughed...A LOT!
I managed to go about 12 miles out of the 20 that first day. The second day I was not as fortunate. My calf muscles seized up and I could not walk. It was one of the most excruciating pains I have ever felt (except for maybe child labor!). I only got about 8 miles in. I was going to bus to lunch the last day then walk into closing but I am stubborn. I had also met up with my "crew" from Day 1 and we walked together again.
Just before lunch myself and one of the other ladies needed to stop. Turns out she had injured her knee in a fall the day before and it was locked up. We took a van to lunch and went right to medical. She ended up going to the hospital and met back up with us at closing-on crutches. I got my calf muscles massaged and my feet and ankles taped up. I again was supposed to bus to holding but I am stubborn...and I took off on my own walking. I was the last walker...but I was walking.

I ended up being the last walker in on that last day (and I have the pin and pictures to prove it!) but I didn't care...I had FINISHED!

The first year I had an amazing experience and had met some of the most amazing men and women and listened to their stories. I knew I had to walk again.

So in 2009 I again decided to walk with my teammated from Team Walking On.
I trained more..not enough but more...lots more than the year before.
Unfortunately I also gained weight that year and it seemed to be a bad thing.

So in 2009 I walked and I actually finished Day 1. It was the first time I had actually walked into camp and I was so happy I was bawling! I felt great (other than a few sore muscles but when you walk 20 miles in a day what do you expect!).
I was looking froward to day 2.
Day 2 I went to medical to have my muscles massaged and taped as the calves were once again a little sore but I knew if they were taped I should be ok, and off I went.

One of the girls I met in 2008 was going to be at a pit stop cheering for me as she had decided against walking this year. I could not wait to see her. While we kept in touch during the year through a few emails and Facebook, we had not seen each other since the walk the prior year.
Unfortunately my feet had other ideas. I started having this pain in my left foot but I ignored it. I HAD to get to all the pit stops and cheering stations to see her.
So I decided to take a sweep van to the next pit stop, rested, and took off walking until the pain was too much and swept to the next stop. I did this up until lunch where i went to medical to have them check it out. I thought maybe my calves were acting up. So they were medically massaged again and my tape was redone on them.
I also had an adjustment done-boy did that feel great!

I ate my lunch, took care of blisters starting to form and took off walking some more.This day was a rainy one and soon I was walking in the rain, in pain.
I swept once more to the last pit stop before the cheering station my friend was going to be at. I was advised by a team member who was on medical not to walk...I didn't listen!
So I started out on those 2 miles to the cheering station knowing if I got there and saw my friend I could quit for the day with no regrets.
Unfortunatley, about a mile down the road, the throbbing in my foot turned to stabbing shooting pain. I couldn't take another step...so I stopped and waited for a van. I went back to camp and went to medical. I was iced up and then tested for a fracture which the test came back negative. However I was red-carded (meaning no walking at ALL) and told to come back after dinner to see how it was doing. If it was better I could be allowed to walk the last day.
SO I went back, knowing the news would not be good. Just walking to me tent and to dinner I was nearly in tears.
SO medical shipped me off to the hospital ER for X-rays.
There the ER said my X-rays showed I had a chip fracture in my foot. I was given a post-surgical boot and crutches. The red card was remaining. I was devestated. I felt like I had let me donars down, like I had let those who had trusted me with the names of loved ones to walk for down.

Day 3 had me sitting on a bus going from camp to lunch, then from lunch to holding.
At holding I was able to cheer the walkers coming in and it really brightened my spirits. I cried with the walkers as they came across the "finish line". It was an experience I had not had the first year and I am so greatful I was able to have it.

After the walk, I went to see a podiatrist who said I did not have a chip fracture but had a "Bulging tendon and tendonitis". He took away the crutches and instead gave me a walking boot, and sent me off to physical therapy. The physical therapist stated I had "tendonitis and a ligament strain". After a month, the walking boot came off.

Several months later, foot better but not 100% I decided not to walk in 2010 but instead to crew.

Then I learned my beautiful co-worker had her cancer come back, only this time it had mestastisised to her liver.
I was starting to waver on crewing versus walking.

Then this past Monday April 5th 2010 I learned my Daddy has early stage melanoma.
Now, I have ALWAYS walked the 3 Day for ALL cancers, not just Breast Cancer. I believe in my heart of hearts that if we can find the cure for one, we will find the cure for all. SO I walk for ALL cancers.

After hearing about my daddy, i was no longer wavering.
I called the 3 day coaches (who by the way are AMAZING!) and made the switch from crew to walker. This year the walk is personal. I am not walking for a friend, or friends of friends alone, I am walking for them and for my own family, for my Daddy.
This time, it's personal...much more than it has ever been before.

I will continue to walk, even if I end up in a walking boot again, until we have a cure and there is no longer a need to walk. Hell, I'll do the walk IN THE WALKING BOOT if I have to!

So it's back to fundraising, and training (this time I am doing ALL the training), and raising awareness to find a cure for cancer no matter where it affects us.
Because EVERYONE DESERVES A LIFETIME!

Please feel free to support me on this journey as I once again raise $2300.00 to walk.
Donations can be made at www.the3day.org/goto/Janna.Florie

Fallen Marine's Family ordered to pay legal fees

So my political side is coming out again.

I came across this story and it angered me.

I am the ex-wife of an active duty Marine. He is getting ready to go to Afghanistan in a few weeks. If something happens to him it will affect me and our son. If he were killed in action I can tell you now, if some "religious" group protested outside the funeral where my son would see...I would probably be arrested myself for assault.

I can honor Freedom of Speech and I honestly feel like this case the way it stands now, will be upheld as disgusting as it is. Freedom of Speech is one of the best parts about living in these great United States.

It is just awful that this brave Marine went off and gave his life so these shmucks could spit on his grave while his family was mourning.

I wonder if someone went to thier loved ones funeral with signs such as they were holding if they would be able to shrug it off as "Freedom of Speech".

I cannot imagine any greater emotional pain then holding a protest such as this at a funeral. It is beyond comprehension for me.

That was a son, a brother, maybe a father and husband. An Uncle, cousin etc. There are people who loved him very much that had to witness this atrocity.

I think for those that are as outraged as I am, if we all donate even $1.00 to the family, they can pay the legal fees and not have to worry about it.

I've ignored this blog for 2 years now.
Whoops.

Since I know not many people read this haha it's now become my own little place where I can discuss what I want; without fear of having to censor myself or pretend that all is hunky dory when really, it's not.

Have you ever had that feeling that nothing is going right?
That you are dying from the inside?
That no matter what you do, instead of getting better things just keep getting worse?

That's what's going on for me right now.

There is this HUGE urge every morning to just get in the car and instead of heading into work, just driving and not stopping until I am out of gas.
Each paycheck I have to fight the urge to just load up a U-Haul with everything I own and taking off for lord knows where.

Some may say, "Do it, just go".
But then the fear...that grippling fear takes a hold of me. The one where I wonder, what will happen to if there is an emergency? Who will help me with the boys, or the car if I leave and have no one around-no family or friends?
So I fight the urge to leave and stay.
Stuck.
Bored.
Unhappy.

I want something new. I feel like I NEED something new. This life here is NOT working for me.
I have a job that while I enjoy the people and the company, I am bored in. There is no challenge. No room to advance.
In 10 years if I stayed, I'd most likely still be doing the same thing. I want more. I deserve more.
I know that I have skills that I are not being used. That are being wasted.
But the fear of something new keeps me back from even updating my resume. What does that tell you?

I have a handful of things in my life right now the genuinely give me happiness. First amongst those are my boys.
But I can't give them the life I want to...the life they deserve. I can't even give them a home of our own.
I have some great friends, but I don't see them enough. Most of them also do not understand how I feel. They are not in the same situation. They have homes, and husbands and love. The things I can only see in my dreams. But once the light hits my face, the reality sets in and those dreams fade for another time...a time when my eyes are closed and the dream world exists.
I have the 3 day. That gives me joy...to raise money and walk for a good cause. It is about the only thing right now that I feel passionate about. The only thing I feel good about besides the boys.
And yet, there are those around me including family who do not understand that, who do not support that.

I don't know what to do...something needs to be done. I can't continue this way.
As my friend Steven aka GB said...I need to stop the negativity as its not healthy.
However, I am always honest with my feelings. And if they are negative, then I will express them. Sorry GB. Better to express them and get them out, then keep them in and go crazy.

This was supposed to be my year...I felt it. Then it started to fade. It's not going according to plan.
I guess it's time to rethink things, come up with a new plan.